"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 7:1-5
Matthew 7:1 is perhaps one of the best known and oft used (and misused) Bible verses to end a conversation about spiritual things and objective truth (by both Christian and non-Christian alike). It's particularly popular in situations where morality is the topic. However, one of my favorite podcasters,
Gregory Koukl, deals with this passage at length in his latest book,
Tactics.
A closer look at the facts of the context shows that Jesus did not condemn all judgements, only hypocritical ones—arrogant condemnations characterized by disdain and condescension . . . In fact, even in this passage Jesus actually encourages a different sort of judgment once the hypocrisy has been dealt with . . . There are two other kinds of judging that are commanded in Scripture. Judgments that are judicial in nature are good when done by the proper authorities. Judges judge. They pass sentence. That's their job. Church discipline is of this sort . . . Judgments that are assessments—appraisals of right or wrong, wise or foolish, accurate or inaccurate, rational or irrational—are also commanded . . . A judicial action, a factual assessment, a hypocritical arrogance—all are judgments. Only the third is disqualified by Jesus. The first two are actually virtues in their proper settings and therefore commanded by Scripture.
This very topic came up recently in my community group, and on our drive home my wife and I discussed how a Christian should handle such situations surrounding morality. The following is my formula that grew out of that conversation. Note: I am using the word "judgment", but just as Greg did, you could substitute "assessment" or "appraisal" if the j-word makes you uncomfortable. And please reserve your protests and push-back until you read the last step.
Make a judgment on the sin. Is this a blatant sin according to the Bible? Or is this a gray area that you may be wrongly imposing on others? Was it a public sin? Who was affected by it? Who was involved in it?
Make a judgment on the person. Is this person a Christian? This is perhaps the most important question we can ask before we respond in any situation. 1 Corinthians tells us we are not called to judge the world. Are they old enough to understand what they're doing? Are they a member of a church?
Make a judgment on the situation. What is your relationship to this person? Spouse? Parent? Friend? Co-worker? Stranger? Your response must be different given your relationship. Are they a member of your church? If not, what is the climate of their spiritual community (church or other)?
Respond in love. I considered making this final step "Love them." but I think too many people are already inclined to not do anything. I believe love requires action (and more often than not, words) when sin is involved. Most people understand this when it comes to our children; we instruct and correct. However, I believe love would dictate doing or saying something in most relationships when confronted with a damaging sin (and really, is there any other kind?). Granted we do not have the same authority that we do in a parent-child relationship, but if your relationship is close enough, you have "earned" some authority to speak love and correction into their lives.
I know there are other questions I did not think of that may be applicable, and I know some of you may have some push-back. So I would love some responses to this, and this will be a working post.